Open Up and Say Ah!

AUTHOR’S NOTE:  The following contains adult language and sexual situations.  If you’re below the age of eighteen LEAVE NOW!  Ailments with vampires run the gambit from intestinal disorders from drinking bad blood to the more serious.  Too often one of them get their fangs into someone with a blood pathogen disease which causes hideous alterations of their eternal bodies.  With twisted arms, bent legs and grotesquely mutated features these poor undead bastards wander around hampered in their nocturnal pursuits for nourishment.  With that in mind I’d like you to meet Vlad, a vampire with a problem…

Dr. Parker Ross looked into Mr. Burns’ mouth and cringed almost physically.  The impacted molar was a swollen angry red which would require much of her attention.  It didn’t do wonders for his breath either.

“How long have you felt this?” she asked.

“Two weeks—I think,” he mumbled through his open mouth.

“It’s going to require oral surgery, I’m afraid.”

“Figured as much.”

The forty-nine year old professional didn’t blink, squirm or flinch when she gently prodded around the inflamed area on his lower jaw.

Jesus what a mess!  This is going to take me well past quitting time, she thought.

“Close your mouth and try to relax, Mr. Burns,” Parker said, “I’ll be right back.”

She walked out into the waiting room and caught the eye of her receptionist/dental assistant Helen Gamble.

“How bad?” the seated woman asked.

“It’s a train wreck in there,” she answered.  “We’re going to have to cancel any appointments after Mr. Burns and hope to hell this isn’t going to take as long as I think it is.”

“You don’t think we’ll be here past seven?  I sort of have a date.”

“Look I know it’s Friday but he’s in a lot of pain.  I wish my personal life wasn’t a series of empty dates on a calendar either but business before pleasure.”

She watched the twenty-six year old sigh deeply.

“Darn Hippocratic Oath,” she eventually swore.

“Never trust a Greek bringing presents,” Parker said, forcing a smile onto her face.

“I’ll clear the waiting room and join you in a few minutes.”

Walking back down the hall she felt terrible about this whole situation but there was little she could do.  This was an emergency, short and simple.

My love life’s has pretty much been declared legally dead so I shouldn’t be bitchy about making Helen put hers on hold.  I guess misery loves company.


It was well past eight o’clock and Mr. Burns’ face was swollen from the work she had done and the mouthful of cotton she had stuffed into it.  He mumbled something undecipherable and nodded.

“Just keep it clean and don’t talk too much and you’ll be fine,” Parker told him.

Helen escorted the patient out of the room and returned before too long.

“Hey can I skip out on you?” she asked, “Rob still has some time before his flight leaves.  Please—pretty please!”

“Yeah go on and get out of here,” she told her assistant.  “I’ll clean up it’s the least I can do for spoiling your evening.”

“You’re the best!”

Without another word the blonde woman exited the room and shouted, “I’ll lock up for you!”

Sure I don’t mind, her bitchy side growled.

Turning back to the bloody cotton balls, soiled instruments and other remnants of her work on Mr. Burns she sighed.

“Do you have time for another appointment?” a deep masculine voice inquired.

Parker spun around frantically and nearly dropped the soaking surgery instruments in her hands.  The speaker was tall, dark and very handsome.  His eyes resembled glittering chips of ebony, polished to a brilliant sheen.  His lanky body was decadently draped in a very proper business suit, Italian-made if she wasn’t mistaken.  The stranger’s skin was drawn and pale and Parker could only assume he was in some discomfort.  But his pinched features still didn’t upstage his handsome face.  Parker felt an instant and embarrassing jolt of sexual pleasure from just looking at him.  She cleared her throat a few times and regained her composure.

“Who are you?” she inquired.  “And how did you get into the back?”

“My name is Vlad Trebec,” he rumbled.  “Your secretary told me you might see me.”

“Well Mr. Trebec office hours are over and I’m afraid you’ll have to come back on Monday.  I apologize for the wait.  Now if this is something that can’t wait I can direct you to the Emergency Room, it’s just a few blocks away.”

“I cannot go to that place for reasons of my own.  Surely you can just take a look and see if this is something which can be put off until Monday.”

“Okay give me a second so I can clean off a place for you to sit Mr. Trebec.”

I swear I’m going to shout Helen’s ears off for letting this guy get past her, Parker thought irritatingly.

Doing a fast but neat job of it she dumped the red soaked cotton balls into the proper waste container.  The clatter of the medical implements into the shallow bowl of sterilizing solution made her jump a bit.

“Please have a seat, Mr. Trebec,” she said.

“Just call me Vlad please,” he said elegantly.

She snapped a bib around his neck and pulled the overhead florescent lamp towards his face.

“Please don’t use so much light—I have an allergic reaction to anything resembling daylight,” he cautioned her.  “I have a dinner date later and would be embarrassed to show up with my face dotted from a reaction.”

What the hell?  Florescent light makes him break out in zits?  Weird.

“Okay I have a smaller version which isn’t so bright,” she replied.

Dragging over the other lamp she cringed at the scraping sound it made on the floor.  Her final task was to snap on a pair of bright blue latex gloves.

“Now open wide and let me see what’s so bad it can’t wait for Monday,” she said.

She knew it wasn’t very professional but her mood, darkened by her lack of a date and the late hour slipped the comment past her usual good manners.

Vlad opened his jaws.

“What the hell?” she gasped.

His upper incisors were tiny, almost non-existent and were dwarfed by the elongated canines he possessed.  The rest of his teeth were normal.  His left canine was chipped at the very tip not quite exposing the nerve ending.

I have to admit if he did this himself it’s one hell of a good makeup job but still I don’t have time for a joke of this magnitude, she thought inwardly.

“Okay buddy if this is some sort of joke I’m going to be really angry,” she growled.  “I’ve had my fill of Halloween pranks already and it’s only May.  I don’t know who put you up to this but I can tell you I’m not finding this amusing.”

“I assure you this is no practical joke,” Vlad reassured her.  “My family has a… genetic defect.  It is not something we like to talk about which is why I don’t want to be sent to a public clinic to be gawked and stared at.”

“Well I can understand you concerns.  Is there anything else I should know about perhaps some medical history before I start?”

“Nothing comes to mind but the pain is unbearable and I’ve been on a liquid diet for several days.”

“Yes I could see where this would make chewing a bit difficult.  However it’s something I can handle for you so let’s get started.”

“Thank you, Doctor Ross.  You are a credit to your profession and I’ll be sure to tell everyone I know about your kindness.”

“Thank you.”

She began putting the tools she would be needing on a tray when he started talking.

“You’re working rather late won’t your husband be worried?” he queried.

“I’m single if you must know,” she politely remarked.

“Surely you have a male companion who breathlessly awaits your call?”

“No and I don’t wish to discuss my private life, if you don’t mind.”

“I understand.  Yet to be so young and beautiful I can only wonder why you are unattached.”

“My choice… open up please.”

“Still,” he warbled past her fingers, “a woman of your grace, beauty and intelligence should be awash in handsome men seeking your company.”

“Mr. Trebec, Vlad if you insist on this line of conversation I’ll be forced to glue your lips shut,” she said in a sweet, but stern tone.

“My apologies I’m just a bit nervous and I’m speaking without thinking.”

For the next half an hour he didn’t speak much to Parker’s relief.


She’s washing her hands in the sink and notices over her shoulder Vlad is tonguing the temporary cap she’s put on his tooth.

“Don’t do that,” she tells him.  “Let it alone and in a few hours you’ll hardly notice it.  Call on Monday and make an appointment so I can get a permanent one made up for you.”

“Thank you for everything,” he says.

“No problem just please, no more surprise visits.”

“I was thinking.”


“Since you are without any form of entertainment tonight perhaps I could repay your kindness by buying you dinner.  What do you say?”

She looked at him with the feeling of a stunned expression wrinkling her facial muscles.  With a return of her willpower she managed to stop her jaw from moving up and down making her look like an idiot.

“I’m sorry,” she finally spoke, “what did you just say?”

“Would you like to have dinner with me?”

“I thought you had plans already.”

“It’s only with my uncle.  He’ll understand when I call him.”


“Yes he’s quite the romantic I suppose it’s because he’s from Europe.”

Vlad stood there waiting for an answer and Parker couldn’t think of a single reason to say no.  He was elegant, handsome and very charming.  His eyes boring into hers made any logical argument for declining evaporate like dew on a hot summer morn.  She felt her heart racing, her mouth grew dry and an almost forgotten hot flash of her libido.  He stretched out his hands and she noticed for the first time he wore an expensive onyx and diamond ring on one hand.  Parker was thrilled to note it wasn’t a wedding band.  Images flooding into her confused brain made her melt.  A candlelight dinner, a walk in the park, cocktails at an exclusive club and the trip back to his place appeared out of nowhere.  Their naked bodies entwined upon satin sheets while the two of them made frantic, passionate love.

“I don’t know,” she lied, her panties growing moist.

She discovered the rise and fall of her breasts and the usually faint rubbing of her shirt against her hard nipples felt like rough caresses.  Parker found herself swaying on her feet, drunk with the idea of the two of them having sex.  She tried to take a step back but faltered.  Vlad was there in an instant, his strong arm around her waist supporting her easily.

“Are you unwell?” he inquired.

She gazed long and hard into his dark eyes.  Within those orbs she swore she could see spinning galaxies, bright constellations and distant planets.  It was as if the entire universe was contained in his stare.  She drew in a ragged breath.

“I-I’m fine,” she whispered.

“I think you should have a seat.  I didn’t mean for my impromptu suggestion to unsettle you so much, again I find myself apologizing to you,” he whispered in his thick, rich voice.

Vlad eased her gently into the chair he had recently vacated.  She sank, no it felt as if her body molded itself to the contours of the dental chair.  He produced a paper cup of water from the nearby faucet and held it out to her.  She took it and sipped daintily.

“I’m afraid you did take me unexpectedly,” she found herself slurring.

The sound of her voice laced so obviously with sexual innuendo made her frown suddenly.

What am I doing?

“I’m sorry—it wasn’t my intention to disorientate you,” he replied.

“What was your intentions?”

“To ask you to dinner.”

“And then?”

“Perhaps light conversation and ballroom dancing at a local club I know of.”

“And then?” she asked her heart throbbing beneath her ribs.

“That, dear lady,” he smoothly replied, “would be entirely up to you.”

Parker felt her nipples jabbing into her bra complaining about their unwanted imprisonment.  Her hips seemed to have a life of their own making her squirm against the seat of the chair.  The humidity confined to her nether regions deliciously made her aware of the growing, inescapable need to seduce or be seduced by Vlad.  She reached out without thinking and wrapped her arms around his neck.

“I could skip dinner,” she stated.

“It’s overrated anyway,” he smiled.

“And it’s been a long day and I’m too tired to dance.”

“As you wish.”

“Conversation can always take place—later.”

Oh my God what am I saying?  Has it been so long that a man’s found me attractive that I’m literally giving him the keys to my pants without a background check?

Vlad kissed her unexpectedly.

The heat of his lips seared into her flesh and exploded into her brain like the finale of a Fourth of July fireworks display.  She caught herself moaning lustily into his mouth while he drank her lips.  Tongues wrestled and Parker detected the traces of her own handiwork on the flavor of his kiss.  His hand descended to her skirt bypassing it with an unsettling practiced ease.  She spread her thighs welcoming his invasion while her brain desperately awaited the first faint touches of his fingers upon her wet sex.

Two can play that game, she thought.

Her hand squeezed between their bodies and fumbled at the belt on his pants.  Parker was pleased to see he was as aroused as she was.  The firm stiff evidence of her effect on him made her sigh with longing.  She groaned when he caressed her.

“So beautiful,” he gasped, “and so willing.”

“Yes,” she answered.

His fingers dawdled there for a blessed eternity until she was left with a need so powerful it drowned out her desire for anything else.  His mouth remained fixed on hers while his other hand began firmly squeezing and fondling her breasts one at a time.

The kiss ended.

Parker’s body shook furiously when he began to lick and nip at the side of her throat.  Her unabashed delight at the heady sensations making her inhibitions fall away like paint chips off an old house.

It’s been too long I feel just like an abandoned home, she poetically remarked inwardly.

She stretched her hand up and grasped of cold metal handle above her.  Her head fell back against the padded rest while Vlad crushed her right nipple, penetrated her hungry pussy and nuzzled her neck at the same time.   All these sensations stilled her hand upon the iron rod in his expensive Italian trousers.

“Oh yes…,” she slurred lustily.

Somewhere deep in the rushing waters of her tidal emotions Parker felt the first pricks upon her neck.  As sharp as a kitten’s teeth they began to break the skin on her throat.   To her utter amazement she did nothing to prevent it.  In fact she bent her head to one side to fully expose herself to his actions.  She heard him moan hungrily.

The pain cut through her briefly interrupting her dream-like trance.

She flinched from his lips and a warm liquid began coursing down her neck to soak the collar of her blouse.  The fingers inserted into her warm depths ceased.  The hand on her left breast squeezed once very hard making her yelp in pain.  Parker felt a weariness passing over her like the coolness of a cloud eclipsing the afternoon sun.  The sharp stabbing hurt disappeared letting her sink down to the drug-like euphoria she had been enveloped with.

W-what is he doing? She thought lazily.

That’s when she heard the slurping sounds.

The hot trails of what could only be blood stopped flowing into her collar.  It didn’t take any of Parker’s medical training to inform her that this man was drinking from her punctured veins.  She wedged her knee in between their bodies and tried to push Vlad away.  She failed.

“S-stop it,” she croaked out.

Shit is that my voice?  I sound like I’ve been gargling with razor blades!

Vlad didn’t reply.

“I said… stop it.”

The gulping continued.  Parker shook in terror while the cold reality of what he was doing radiated from the core of her soul to the very limits of her extremities.

“You don’t have a genetic… disorder,” she rasped, “y-you’re a vampire!”

“Yes,” Vlad admitted.

“Please don’t kill me.”

But when the infernal kiss ended she almost broke out in tears because he stopped.

“I would make you mine,” he said, “to be like me, with me for all eternity.  Is that what you want?  Hurry now, my pet for you haven’t much time to decide.  I have drank deeply from your beautiful throat can you feel your heart faltering?”

Parker came to the rapid conclusion her chest was pounding in an incorrect rhythm.  Her fingers and toes were ice cold and numb.  Her breath was wheezing out of her chilly lips like the dying gasps of a terminally ill patient.

“Do you wish immortally?” he inquired softly.  “You could still practice your skills for many of our kind damage their teeth occasionally.  Will you be mine—now and forever?”

“Yes,” she gurgled.

His head sank back to her throat and in doing so the sensation of his lips against her vulnerable flesh made her hands jerk spastically.  The bright illumination from the fluorescent bulbs above her burst into being like searching floodlights and cascaded all around them.

Vlad screamed.

He jumped away from the burning light but immediately Parker witnessed her vampire lover burst into hot consuming flames.  Shrieking in hideous agony Vlad ran around the room batting at the fire which was quickly consuming him.  From her paralyzed state on the chair, trying to summon the energy to rise from its cushions Parker watched him set the curtains and rug ablaze.

“Stop, drop and roll,” she mumbled.

The human-sized inferno ran out of the room and she could hear his screams all the way down the hall.  Summoning up the strength to fall off her perch Parker crossed the floor on her hands and knees.

Holy shit—the whole office is on fire! She said with an amused inner voice.

The walls had caught ablaze from Vlad’s flailing hands.  The sprinkler system was kicking on drenching her with icy cold water which plastered her clothes to her numb and strength-deprived body.

I can’t tell if I’m about to faint or I’ve got water in my eyes.

Halfway into the hall, her body just barely across the threshold she slumped in defeat.  Vlad came into view once more.  He was mindlessly slamming into walls, furniture and the coffee table in the waiting room.  The vampire with the sore tooth gave out one final shriek of horror before detonating like a stick of dynamite.  Unable to ward off the debris Parker watched with disinterest as a leg of the small table spun directly at her.

Suddenly I miss my boring Friday nights, she mused just before it struck her in the forehead.


She lay wrapped up in a warm, soft blanket on the gurney near the back of the ambulance.  Parker was aware of the IV in her arm replenishing the life-blood in her veins.  Clarity had rushed back and now she lay in stunned amazement at the turn of events.

I meet the man of my dreams and he’s a vampire, she thought.  Okay that’s not too bad but then just as he’s about to make me immortal and his consort for all eternity I set him on fire.  Good job Parker… way to go.  Now my practice is going up in flames and I’m trying to come up with a good story to explain all this.  Can this night get any worse?

“She needs some time to recover, Officer,” the EMT told the uniformed policeman.  “She’s been through a lot right now and she needs a brief rest.”

The grumpy cop shook his head in understanding and walked away.  The tall ambulance medic came over and stared into her eyes.  He was cute, a boyish handsome face which would easily sway any female consumer into purchasing any product he was peddling.

“Feeling better?” he asked.

“Yes,” she sighed.

“You were lucky the firefighters got here so quickly.  If they had been just a minute later you would’ve bled out and died.  And that, in my humble opinion would’ve been a tragedy.”


“Well I’m sure I’m not seeing you at your best but I know beauty when I see it.”

“Tell me, Gregg,” she said reading his nametag, “What are you doing after your shift?”

“Nothing I can’t put off,” he said with a grin.

She felt herself match his smile with one of her own and a rediscovered twitch made her legs thrash slightly under the blanket.  The hot itch started by Vlad came back and Parker just knew she had to scratch it.

Perhaps the night isn’t a total washout, she thought.  But I need to eat first and suddenly I really want a nice, rare steak.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s