The Pulpit

AUTHOR’S NOTE: The following short story contains elements of graphic sexual situations and adult language.  If you are not eighteen years of age PLEASE LEAVE NOW!

The Pulpit

Riana Färber lay in silk luxury.  Awakening as she did in total darkness she stretched out her body and squirmed against the decadent lining of her coffin.  Not quite fully conscious the two hundred year-old vampire became aware of the unnatural life slowly rising thorough her.

The sun hasn’t fully set, she thought.  I usually don’t like resting in my casket but we couldn’t find someplace to pass the day away.  The energy sluggishly moving through my body always gives me the creeps.

The slippery feel of her silk gown moving against the same material beneath her gave her the impression she was sliding.  Even the slightest wiggling produced the sensation of lying upon a dry, yet oiled surface.  She opened her eyes.

Riana began to hear sounds, faint yet distinct.  The graceless clomping of boots, the deep low mutterings of men’s voices and scrape of stone against stone resounded through the ancient wood of her coffin.  All became silent for a moment.  Then she heard a grinding sound like someone rubbing two bricks together for some unknown reason.  Puzzlement rose in her brain until the thudding slam reverberated the floor above her making small particles of dust rain down upon her face.  Then the realization came to her.

Someone has found my hiding place!

The icy cold caress of a thousand worms upon her brain sent terror flowing into her extremities as if she had been dunked into a frozen pond.  The splintering of wood and fiberglass above her made more fine debris cascade down upon her.  In her mind it became a race against time.  Would her body’s strength return faster than the intruders would rip open her hiding place?  Which would happen first?  Did Riana have time enough to battle those seeking to destroy her or would the clock finally run out on her undead state?  A low whimpering echoed above her.

Oh shit—Michael! Riana recalled, not lessening her fears.

Michael Renee McDaniels.  Her current paramour, friend and companion was stretched out in his own box which lay atop hers.  In her dull, dazed state she had forgotten their resting arrangement.  The small crypt in the center of the cemetery hadn’t allowed them to reside side-by-side.  Instead he had graciously agreed to have his coffin set above hers.  Chivalry, love or whatever the reason was Michael had insisted upon this.  Riana’s eyes began to well up with hot tears which ran out of the corners of her eyes and just past her ears.

“No,” her lover’s croaking voice pleaded.  “Please don’t do this.”

His words shattered her undead heart like an ice sculpture hit with a mallet.

“I send you to Hell’s hot embrace!” a man’s thundering reply came.

There was a flurry of activity above her.  She could hear and feel Michael’s limbs thrashing frantically against the bottom of his casket.  More strength poured into her body but not enough to push herself free and defend the man she loved.

“Stop!  You don’t understand!” the man above her shouted.

Riana flinched at the sudden sound of a hammer striking something wooden and Michael’s painful wail.  More thumping noises, even more insanely desperate boomed only shut out by the horrible din of repeated impacts from the mallet.  Tears ran down the sides of her face like droplets of a torrential rain on a window pane.  Michael’s gurgling sobs, his attackers’ heavy grunting and her own weeping filled up the seven foot long coffin she lay in.  The terrible sounds overflowed like the sorrow welling up inside of her.  Riana slapped her hand across her mouth to keep her screams of denial from being heard.  The final blow fell and she gasped into her bitten palm when she spied the bloody, ragged point of the stake appear in the top of her own casket.

“It is done,” the man stated.  “Evil has been destroyed and we can take pride in doing the Lord’s work.”

Riana tried to think herself as small as a mouse, as silent as the grave and still as a dark tarn.

“What about the other one?” the man’s accomplice inquired.

“There is no reason to check it,” the first one countered.  “We only had reports of one male bloodsucker not two.  Besides how would it get out?”

“Let’s get out of here.”

The clomping sounds of their exit echoed like the sounds of a hollow victory in her mind.  Michael had been destroyed, killed and murdered.  They had been together for sixty years.  Her mind immediately and painfully began running through the memories of meeting, loving and turning him.  From the disco days of the seventies to the grudge era and beyond they had walked together in harmony, hunger and health.

Now he is gone, she sniffled.

The bang of the iron gate informed her those who had slain her lover had departed without further investigation.  The sudden fact she had survived another close call burst into her sorrowful brain.  Riana smiled and felt the tug of her lips pulling away from her fangs.  The bared pearly weapons felt longer and sharper as her hunger for revenge grew in her undead heart.


Riana crouched in the darkness and ignored the soft moaning of the semi-unconscious woman lying next to her.  She raised her sight to the small square of light above her head and tried not to laugh out loud.  Her prey’s heavy footfalls informed her he was approaching.

Her search hadn’t taken long, in fact it had been surprisingly shorter than she expected.  Reverend Richard Black cleared his throat as he walked towards her position.  The First Church of Christ’s pastor was a pompous, arrogant and proud man who she had studied well these past few weeks.  Michael’s killer had bragged far and wide how he had removed an evil blot on the surrounding countryside.  His boasting tale told from the pulpit above her head had sent shock, relief and admiration flowing from his congregation to puff up the wilted self-worth of the minister.  This was his Achilles’ heel—his overwhelming, driving need to be respected.  It would be his downfall.

Another groggy groan from the body beside her let Riana know she hadn’t quite rendered its owner completely senseless.  She twisted upon the sheaf of papers, crushing and tearing them to cuff the woman once more.  The sounds stopped making the vampire smirk.

I know you too well now Reverend Black, she thought.  Your bad memory, your egotistical hatred of looking down at your sermon’s notes and how you had concocted this secret hiding place beneath your pulpit so your assistant could quietly remind you of what to say next.

Despite the holiness of this place it had cost Riana very little in pain to crawl into here from the secret passage’s entrance in the church’s hall.  The sanctuary above would singe her flesh to a charred blackened state if she set foot upon it’s hallowed and consecrated floor.  But the ladder and hole above her had been woefully neglected when it came to being blessed.

Black couldn’t be seen blessing this place without being discovered and his ego would not have allowed that.

The white square was eclipsed letting Riana know her prey had stepped up to the podium.  She retrieved the sermon’s notes and began to silently ascend the short ladder.

“My brothers and sisters in Christ,” he began, “I am so happy to see so many smiling new faces amongst our congregation.  It makes my heart swell with joy to witness what one single act of faith and courage can do to bring so many others into the light of Jesus Christ, our Lord.  Can I get a Hallelujah?”

“Hallelujah,” they responded.

“We walk in dark times, brothers and sisters.  These are dark and dangerous times where pop culture tears at the fabric between what is right and wrong.  Youngsters are being corrupted by false beliefs, ungodly trends and whorish fashions.  They are being led to believe that monsters are misunderstood, to be pitied and loved instead of being destroyed like the unholy vermin they are.  Vampire movies, books and stories depicting these vile creatures to be nothing more than human beings who have a disease, nothing more.  We have to stay strong and fight what we know to be the truth…God’s own truth!”

“Amen,” the congregation muttered.

Riana rose to crotch level beneath the pulpit.  She licked her lips in anticipation of the events to come.  Deep inside she felt a thrill of tickling glee for what she was about to do to the arrogant murderer of her beloved Michael.

It has been a long time since I’ve done this, she thought silently.  Existing on animals and stealing nourishment from hospitals is enough to keep me alive but there’s something so right, so exciting about supping on a human.

“We have long suffered from these misguided authors,” Black said, his voice rising.  “It started with Bram Stoker and has grown now to include the business empire of that Myers’ woman—a follower of the Mormon way who pens atrocity after atrocity!  Can I get an amen?”

He could and did.

Riana reached out and with a feather light touch caressed the front of Black’s expensive trousers.  She withheld a smile when his hips jerked back.

“I come to you, a man dedicated to His way,” the minister said without stammering.  “to teach you these things must be, should be and will be fought!  Too many innocents are rushing to see the next Twilight movie, buying up vampire erotica and snuffing out the light of their souls.”

She parted the folds of his fly and began to tug the zipper down.  Trapped by his speech and confusion the preacher still tried to pull away.  His pant legs shook in slight a trembling shake as she slowly yanked the metal fastener to the bottom of his fly.

“W-we must, without haste or fear of reprisal, tell these people we will no longer stand for their corruption.  We will protest at these movies, picket book stores during their new releases and pass out a million flyers to those who have been led down the wrong path.”

She felt him shrink from her touch but her firm grip on his fleshy shaft held him in place.  Tugging gently on it Riana began to stroke the minister’s cock and make him gasp and stammer during his impassionate speech.  She was betting on him being too embarrassed or aroused to give away her position.

“I-I know you will be with me, beside me the entire time as I go forth to enlighten the ignorant masses of the dangers in believing vampires and werewolves are anything less than monsters,” he stuttered.  “We will be a force from Heaven itself to be reckoned with.  C-can I get a Hallelujah?”

“ Hallelujah!” they cried out.

His meaty shaft had grown to its full length in her soft fingers.  Riana tugged him free of his pants and pulled the rampant cock to her cold lips.   She waited for the right moment.  For a moment he seemed to forget she had him by the balls.

“It will be a glorious day when the world rises up to cast off the blindfold wrapped around their eyes.  We will cry in one voice that we will not allow, permit or ignore the corruption of our children.  Holding Hollywood and the publishing industry accountable for their evil ways, to wean them off of ill-gained profits and drag them kicking and screaming into His light!”

Upon Black’s uttering of the word His she placed her lips against the bulbous head of his cock making the minister yelp out the word.  She swirled her tongue around it making him pause for effect and keep the illusion being seen by his parish he was in control.  She heard him groan softly and imagined what must be going through his mind.  Laughing to herself she could almost hear him wondering what had gotten into his female assistant.  A part of her deduced the pastor must be thinking his sermon was inspiring the woman beneath the pulpit to suckle his cock out of sheer respect and undying dedication.

“I charge you to do as I have done.  To seek out those filthy vile creatures who slink from the light of Heaven and hide in moldy graves.  Drag them out and drive a stake through their black hearts.  Look to the signs of their existence.  You must keep a constant vigil!  For if too many of our youngsters believe vampires are cool we will lose them to bloody bared fangs, their blessed lives given to slake the devilish thirst of these demons!  Oh Lord, please deliver us from Evil!”

Riana sucked him deep into her mouth and he sobbed out the last sentence very loud.  She fondled his tightly clenched balls and tugged the base of his cock while in her mind’s eye she saw him gripping the sides of the podium in a white knuckled grip.  She covered his shaft with spit and snickered while his feet shifted in agitation, arousal and fear.

“T-tomorrow we will take up the fight and demand the local chain bookstore stop carrying the works of Anne Rice, Bram Stoker, Stephanie Myers and others who would pen such atrocities to confuse and befuddle the minds of our innocent children.  We will usher in an age—an age of… of… goodness and righteousness!”

His slight forgetfulness had been deliberately caused by Riana’s mouth working feverishly upon his iron-hard rod.  Her hands squeezed his balls and yanked upon his vein-covered cock until she heard, with great delight, his elbows strike against the top of the pulpit.  She knew the men and women staring at him would be thinking the preacher was in the grips of a religious fervor.  Black’s voice returned but it was aimed downward in her direction.  He spoke in hushed tones and she surmised he had covered the microphone in front of him to further muffle the sound for the question didn’t come out of the large speakers.

“What are you doing?” he husked out.

Riana didn’t answer him but ran the tip of her tongue underneath his throbbing member and tickled his quaking testicles.

“Helen you h-have to stop,” he demanded weakly.  “This isn’t proper.”

“No,” she whispered back.  “Keep preaching.”

Riana licked her index finger and waited for him to pick up where he left off.

“Brothers and sisters—good people of Niles, will you take up this burden?  Can you find the strength and dedication to suffer the slings and arrows of the lost children of humanity, just like the punishment Christ endured on his way to Calgary?  We must be strong in our faith!  Too many souls have been lost to darkness because we have sat by in idle disbelief and watched the destruction of morality.  Out of sheer shock and dismayed we have not acted accordingly.  Can I get an A-amen?”

“Amen,” they chorused as she rubbed her wetted finger against his puckered anus.

“I-I didn’t hear you,” Black said in a distracted tone.

Riana slid the slippery digit into his bottom and covered his shaft with her wet mouth.

“Amen!” the reply from the pews came loudly.


She pushed it up to the second knuckle and slurped harder at his organ.


Working one hand up and down his meat, pushing her face against the fabric of his trousers and swirling her finger in his anus Riana drove the minister into a frenzy of contortions.  She inwardly giggled how those in the pews would think he was in the grip of some religious fever.

“We w-will remove the stain upon literature, movies and wash away improper illusions!” he shouted.  “It will be us, filled with the righteousness of the Holy Spirit, who will topple the printed media from their unholy perches!” he bellowed.

Riana felt his cock swell in tune with the growing loudness of his voice.  His ass clenched around her finger, holding it snugly inside while his balls began to flex.  She increased her efforts and soon she was gagging from the depth his throbbing meat had sunken to in her throat.  Yanking, tugging, thrusting and fingering she felt his dam break and the sudden rush of boiling warm seed rush down the fevered length of his organ. In her mind’s eye she could see the congregation lean forward, intent on his words.  They would see the redness in his face and mistake it for holy passion.  Only he would know it was because of the killer orgasm he was about to suffer.

“We will cast them down into the Pit!  Overthrowing them and putting in place a moral and responsible group of goodly thinking people w-who will… always remember… they are beholden to… keeping faith with…”

That’s it, she thought, say His name just as you get off…

“Jesus Christ!” he screamed.

Riana’s gullet was treated to a torrential rush of Reverend Black’s sperm which shot out of his flexing cock’s head in thick rivulets.  She noted with pleasure he was standing on the balls of his feet while her throat milked, her fist pumped and her finger jabbed him.

“Oh my God, brothers and sisters!” he shrieked.  “Dear Lord!  It’s u-unbelievable—oh my God!”

“Amen!” the people cried over and over.

“Yes!” some woman screeched, “Testify to His glory, Reverend Black!”

“Lord Jesus Christ!” some woman wailed.

“My life for yours, Jesus!” a man roared.

“I’ll take up the Cross for Him!” a weeping female screamed.

Riana bit his cock and a rush of hot blood spewed into her throat.

“Oh God!” Reverend Black shouted.

She drank heavily.  He slumped against the back of the podium while the rush of erotic sensations rose from his loins and enflamed his brain.  Riana felt the preacher’s hips buck slower and slower until she had her fill.  Withdrawing her fangs from his punctured cock she held him still and retrieved a length of surgical gauze from her pocket.  She stopped the bleeding with the bandage.  Only then did she allow him to withdraw his limp, reddened shaft from the prison of her firm grip.  Tenderly she placed the sensitive organ back into his pants and briefs and tucked a note into his front, right pocket while the people probably now standing in the aisles shouted, prayed and rejoiced.   She slipped down the ladder and crawled along the passageway to find a place to hide until night when she could escape.


She stood on the threshold of the mausoleum and waited.  The moon, full and pregnant slowly crossed the starry sky while she passed the time.  Down the hill she could see the cars speeding past the cemetery carrying people to their various nighttime destinations.  Riana smiled briefly.

I wonder how much longer he can resist? She mused merrily. It has been two weeks and I must admit I do admire his willpower.  Most of my victims don’t last a few days before they come to me begging for more or to be turned but him I had to make an appointment.  He showed up per my note, but he tried to kill me.  Even then, while he was under my power Black fought me but his efforts were futile.  He died right after I drained him the second night.  I felt him crawl off and die in his bed, his bible and crucifix lying forgotten on the ground beside him.  You know if I didn’t hate him so much for destroying Michael I’d be tempted to keep him around.

She knew the curse of her toothy kiss had coursed through the minister’s body poisoning his soul and corrupting his mind.  He wouldn’t be able to enter his church or hold his bible.  It was a matter of time.

Then my revenge will be complete.

She felt rather than saw him crouching near a cluster of tombstones at the very bottom of the hill.  The supernatural connection between them alerted her to his whereabouts as surely as if he was wearing a bright red neon sign above his head.  The frantic thumping of his heartbeat crossed the distance like an ocean wave and reverberated off her body.  Riana took great delight in its fluttering beat.

Come to me! She called out psychically.

She watched him dart from gravestone to gravestone trying to hide.  This amused her to no end and she wondered whose attention he was trying to avoid.  Was it hers?  Or did the infected preacher desperately attempting to conceal his plight from members of his congregation who had followed him here?  Would he approach her or just glare at her from a safe distance?

Hopping, loping and dashing she snickered as Black went from hiding spot to hiding spot.  Eventually the slouched figure crossed over the road in front of her mausoleum and slide to a stop behind a tall monolithic headstone.  Riana laughed and the sweet sound of her merriment rang out in the graveyard.  She heard him moan in arousal in response.

“You cannot hide from me, Reverend Black,” she called out.  “I can feel your presence as surely as I can see the moon above me.”

“What have you done to me?” he cried out in a pitiful tone.

“Nothing you didn’t deserve.”

“Who are you?  Why do you haunt my dreams?  Night after night I saw your face dancing like some Gamorrahian whore in sensual visions which cloud my mind.  Now I have wakened in my grave only to be pulled to your presence.”

“I am Riana—the mate of the vampire you destroyed.  I was lying in the other casket while you drove a piece of vile wood into my lover’s heart.”

“But that’s impossible!”

“Why because you think I couldn’t move the coffin above me to get out?  You are as stupid as you are misguided.  I have strength enough to carry my hiding place for many miles without breaking a sweat but you were too lazy to check.”

“Please restore me to Glory—I cannot enter my own church anymore!”

“You are of the night now.  No longer can you call for divine aid or even utter the name of your deity.  I have made you what you despise.”

“Why have you done this?”

The holy man stepped out from behind the monolith and staggered towards her.  She noted dispassionately his white face, gleaming fangs and hungry face.  His hands were curled into painful claws and the smell of burnt flesh wafted past her face.  She guessed he tried to enter holy ground only to find he was damned forever.  Tears ran down his hollow cheeks so terrible was his plight it nearly tugged pity from her undead heart.  She had taken everything away from him he had stubbornly clung to.  Pathetic and distraught he sobbed quietly before her.  But she heard the echoes of Michael’s voice and the sudden remorse for Black’s plight died a stillborn’s death.  He stopped two feet away and fell to his knees.

“Tell me why you’ve made me this way?” he demanded softly.

“To teach you a lesson—I didn’t ask for this curse but I live with it the best I can.  Michael and I never took a human life but you weren’t interested it that.  You came, filled with righteous indignation and slaughtered my beloved like some sacrificial lamb on the altar of you puffed up ego.  Now you will suffer as I have,” she said making her voice cruel on purpose.

“Please no”.

“You can accept your fate or wait for the morning to come and destroy you.  There will be no redemption either in Heaven or Hell for you, Reverend Richard Black!”

She turned her back on him and shut the door to her crypt.  A part of her wondered what course of action he would take.  Would he greet the dawn and die or would he slink off to his own grave and hide from the sun?  She was hoping for the second option.  Knowing his vast ego and the terrified look in his eyes somehow she just knew Black would succumb to a vampire’s existence.

I’m sure once the Assistant Minister of the church reads the note I left on his car this evening he will take action.  Perhaps tomorrow night he’ll finish what I’ve started.  How ironic that the speech I heard him deliver will be his undoing, Riana chuckled to herself.

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